I got home and found Jospehine crying on the steps underneath the clam shell awning. The raver kid from downstairs was sitting next to her but not next to her. I could seem him trying to take moments to look down her shirt. Men are like that. She was in a bad state, which was too bad, because I had been daydreaming all the way home of becoming Vince’s assistant and fixing those old penny arcade machines once he passed away. I let myself go further and think that perhaps he would never really pass away and that somewhere inside of those old machines was the secret to some sort if immortality. Yes, that works very well actually. I think there is a story forming here. Just have to make sure I have the balls to tell it like I want to tell it. I could get truly fantastic right here. i think yes. It would make for something special. I might have it. Use the change in your pocket to be the driving factor. How long do you wait before you jump in?
Anyway, patience. We shall stick to things as they best are done. She was heaving up and down and the raver kid, we’ll call him Manny for now and might just keep that one because it fits – So Manny was following her heaving which she may have mistook for him caring. I took her upstairs and Manny tried to follow but I closed the door on him, letting him know that we’d be down when things were a little easier to deal with. He seemed upset – always wanting be part of what we had upstairs, which I never understood because aside from the speed and the constant music and people crashing on his couch, their life was pretty decent over there. The more you look at other people’s lives the more decent they seem in comparison to yours. Well, that’s a stretch I guess. For me. For me it was always like that and it killed me – to be looking at others and daydreaming inside of their minds. People are not to pleased when you do it in real life but they seem to get a kick out of it when you’re writing about them.
I took Josephine to my room and made her some nice tea – her hands were shaking and she kept sniffing.
“Usually I can handle my tweak,” she said. “I have no idea what Manny gave me. Don’t ever buy anything from him. Even when you’re upset like thins. I was so pissed when i went down there. I shouldn’t be out like this. It’s his birthday you know.”
“No..Mike’s. He would have been 23 today. Would you sing happy birthday with me to him?”
Just then, Marcy walked in holding her Strawberry Shortcake meets Hello Kitty lunch box. Her shoulders were low but smiled still, looking at me like I might be the one to finally take her best friend from her. If you looked at the two of them with the eyes of a man, you would see it that Marcy was the one in love with Josephine. But if you listened to them talk, it as the other way around. Marcy was beautiful in the person she was and the things she collected. She allowed the world to be as it was because it’s how she wanted the world to see her. We got along very well and I talked easy with her. I guess because I didn’t find her attractive at all and she was a Lesbian. Those two things took away all barriers of sexuality between the two of us and allowed for friendship. It was a rare occasion for me because everything, every movement, is usually such a sexual experience for me. Even holding eye contact made me shake inside my skin when talking to a woman.
Anyhow, Marcy came in and opened her lunch box. Their phone bills, share of the rent, and other money matters were all there and she wanted to talk with Josephine about them.
“I need that money Kitty,” she said. “Best not to get behind on this. I don’t mind living with the butterfly wings, but the real world is going to keep on sending this stuff. Can you cut me a check?”
“Any check I cut would bounce right away love,” she said. “I’ve got it taken care of though. Give me a couple of nights and I’ll have the money. I’ll have it to cover both of us.”
Florence walked down with her work bag and heavy sunglasses doing what they needed to do.
“You ready?” she said happily to Josephine.
I looked at her eyes and hung my head.
“You don’t have to do this,” I said. “I’ll loan you the money until you find a real job – no offense Florence.”
“That’s fine,” she said, looking up and down the street for a cab, then yelling up to Carolina who was looking down to like a kid watching to see when he mom was all the way gone. “I don’t need you to affirm what I do for a living. I do what I choose to live how I want to live. I’m just helping her out – not making her do anything. You love her or something?”
That’s how it was declared. Josephine’s eye reached up to mine and saw that it was true.
“Please,” I said. “I can get you the money until you pay me back. I don’t think that’s the life you should be leading.”
The cab came. Marcy nodded in agreement to what I was saying, though she was confused at the feelings that were driving the moment. She looked up at me and her eyes were telling me to run and not get on that path of love – that it would come close to destroying me, but I didn’t want to hear any of that. I was in line to be the hero – finding out how wouldn’t be a problem.
“Okay,” she said. “I’m going to stay here with you.”
Florence got into the cab and let it drive her to work. The three of us stood under the clamshell with Marcy being the only one not looking for protection in the shade.